The topic sparked by “secret stash of money”

October 11, 2025 By Natmed

Yesterday, my wife and I stood on the front steps, listening to her launch into a tirade, spittle flying from her lips. Passersby on the sidewalk occasionally cast strange glances, but nothing could stop her impassioned and indignant speech. The reason? I had spent a small amount of money on my hobby without even telling her. Afterwards, I pondered a question: Who gave her the right to do that?

This reminds me of a common topic: secret stash of money.

This situation typically arises after a couple forms a new family, putting their income into a single account to share household expenses. Currently, the common practice is for the man to leave his money there each month for peace and quiet, while the woman, being more meticulous, handles the daily expenses. This naturally creates an unequal relationship, a dynamic of supervision and being supervised, which often goes unnoticed by the man at this stage. Once this becomes a habit year after year, and he realizes the seriousness of the situation, changing it becomes extremely difficult. When everyone takes it for granted, breaking the norm becomes incredibly painful. In short, it’s the bitter fruit of initial inconsideration.

Secret stashes of money only appear in jointly owned accounts between spouses, and specifically, the account being managed by the person in charge. This is because the person managing the accounts can freely dispose of the funds without the other person knowing, unless the accounts are audited. The spouse whose income is managed, however, hands over all their earnings, leaving no funds at their own disposal. Where does the money come from for social obligations or other expenses? This is a real problem. Therefore, secretly hoarding “secret stashes of money,” like a thief, becomes a solution. We often see instances where improper operations lead to the unexpected discovery of these “secret stashes.” 

Perhaps this is a legacy from ancient times.In 2016, at an auction in Australia, a paper document was discovered hidden in a crevice at the base of an ancient Chinese wooden Luohan sculpture. The document bore the inscription “Da Ming Tongxing Baochao” (大明通行宝钞). In other words, it was a Ming Dynasty silver note! The ancient man who hid his secret stash of money never dreamed that one of his banknotes would be discovered more than 600 years later.https://youtu.be/cfTpMSf_1Ak?si=WDvR0A5BupMjtJyx）

Both husband and wife are equal; neither is superior to the other. The scene at the beginning was entirely avoidable. Common sense tells us that women are generally conservative, which allows for stable family life but rarely provides opportunities for great wealth. Men, on the other hand, are naturally adventurous and possess a competitive spirit; given the opportunity, they might produce unexpected surprises. How can innovation be achieved within a framework of stable development? This requires giving the man some pocket money, such as 10% of his monthly income, allowing him free rein without restrictions. This both utilizes his intelligence and prevents the creation of “secret stashes.”