The art of repair: 8 phrases that reconnect you with your adult children after they have pulled away
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Navigating parenthood never really ends, even when your kids grow up.
by Isabella Chase | January 27, 2026, 10:19 am
There’s a stark difference between demanding respect or bridging gaps with your adult kids and genuinely reconnecting with them after they’ve pulled away.
Reconnecting requires delicate communication with your ultimate aim laid bare – to rebuild relationships, and not just by imposing your parental will. To achieve this, it’s crucial to know the right words.
So, here are eight phrases that create bridges, not barriers.
Let’s journey down this road of mending relationships with your adult children using the natural ‘art of repair’.
1) I understand…
Having empathy is key when trying to reconnect with your adult children who have distanced themselves.
Recognizing and validating their feelings can be a significant first step towards healing.
“I understand…” is a powerful phrase designed to show your adult child that you acknowledge their feelings, experiences, or perspectives, even if you might not fully agree with them.
Showing empathy doesn’t mean surrender. It’s about assuring your child that their feelings are heard and respected.
Used correctly, this humble phrase can gradually break down walls and open up space for effective dialogue, fostering healthier relationships.
But be genuine. Your sincerity will lead the way to the bridge of re-connection with your grown-up children.
2) I’m sorry…
Saying “I’m sorry” can truly work wonders. It’s about being accountable for past mistakes and showing willingness to make amends.
Let me share a personal story with you.
A couple of years ago, my adult son and I had a massive falling out over a business venture that went south. It was unfortunate that our personal relationship was consumed by the financial wreckage. The blame game continued, and he withdrew.
It took me a year, but finally, I realized my lack of empathy for his perspective. So one day, I took the leap and apologized, saying, “I’m sorry, son, for not acknowledging your perspective during our business debacle. I should’ve been more considerate.”
Those simple words were a turning point. It didn’t magically erase the past, but it did pave the way for healing and rebuilding our connection.
“I’m sorry,” when said genuinely, can be the key to opening the lines of communication with your adult child.
3) I’m proud of you…
Everyone craves validation, especially from those they hold dear. Complimenting your adult kids and telling them how proud are of their achievements can go a long way in mending the fractures.
According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, validation from significant sources, especially parents, has a direct correlation with one’s self-perception and self-esteem.
“I’m proud of you…” isn’t just a feel-good sentence. It reaffirms their accomplishments, and enforces the idea that you notice and value their hard work and progress.
Use this phrase more often, but be sincere about it. Your adult child will appreciate the recognition, and it will contribute to building a healthier, stronger relationship.
4) How can I support you?
Stepping away from being directive, as you might have been when they were kids, is key when dealing with your grown-up children.
Asking “How can I support you?” gives your adult child the freedom and the floor to express what they need from you. This allows for a more collaborative relationship that respects their autonomy.
It’s not just about providing financial help or fixing their problems as you might have done when they were younger. It’s about understanding their situations, offering emotional support, guidance, or simply being there when they want to share.
By asking this, you’re reinforcing your role not as a commander but as an ally. This can significantly contribute to winning their trust and rebuilding the lost connection.
5) I love you…
There are words with magic in them, and “I love you” is one of the most powerful ones. Often, these words can bridge the biggest of breaches.
It’s a phrase that never loses its weight or significance no matter how old your children get. Expressing your unconditional love can be the distinguishing factor in reconnecting.
Maybe there have been harsh words, maybe silence – irrespective of that, saying “I love you” reminds your adult child that despite differences or misunderstandings, the love remains constant.
“I love you,” when voiced sincerely, is a healing phrase that goes beyond boundaries, reiterating that they still hold a special place in your heart and life.
Be generous with these words; they are priceless in repairing and reinforcing the bonds with your adult children who have pulled away.
6) That’s a great point…
Acknowledge their wisdom. Your adult children have grown up and experienced life, gathered their own set of experiences and lessons. Validating their views can be empowering.
When my daughter was considering a job offer overseas, I was initially dismissive, fearing for her safety and wellbeing thousands of miles away. But one day, we had this deep conversation where she shared the professional growth prospects and how it aligns with her career goals.
Instead of burying my apprehensions, I told her: “That’s a great point, sweetie”. By acknowledging her perspective, I saw the assurance in her eyes. Over time, this shift in my approach opened up more candid conversations, forging a stronger bond between us.
Saying “That’s a great point” doesn’t signify that you have to agree on everything. It means you respect their wisdom and are open to understanding their viewpoint. This openness can lead to a healthier relationship with mutual respect and understanding.
7) I trust you…
As parents, letting go can be tough. However, expressing your trust in your adult children to make right decisions for themselves can be transformative for your relationship.
By saying “I trust you”, you’re illustrating your confidence in their abilities and decisions. This can not only bolster their self-confidence but also create a deeper emotional connection between you and your child.
It takes the relationship dynamics away from just parent-child to equal, respectful adults who have faith in each other’s decisions.
Trust can be a pivotal factor in mending the distances, assuring your child that you respect their autonomy, fostering a supportive, collaborative and adult relationship.
8) I’m here for you…
Life can be challenging and unpredictable. For your adult child, knowing that they can always rely on you for emotional support, irrespective of the distances or friction, can be incredibly comforting.
“I’m here for you” is not a mere set of words; it’s an assurance, an open-ended invitation to lean on. It serves as a reminder that you’re a constant – ready to be there for them during their highs and lows without judgement or unwarranted advice.
This simple phrase holds within it an enormous potential to heal wounds, re-establish trust and reaffirm bonds, setting the foundation for a healthier, respectful relationship with your adult child.
Heart of the matter: It’s about love
The fundamental component of any relationship – especially those as intricate as parent and child, is love. This inherent bond forms the core of all interactions, guiding actions and reactions over the course of life.
In terms of numbers – a study by the American Psychological Association found that strong parental relationships correlate with higher self-esteem, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems in adolescents.
The essence of these eight phrases we’ve explored, circles back to love – a love that listens, that empathizes, that respects, and most importantly, that communicates effectively.
Whether it’s saying “I’m sorry,” validating their feelings with “I understand” or expressing your pride in their achievements, each of these phrases strives to develop a stronger, loving bond with your adult children who may have distanced themselves.
As you navigate this journey named parenthood remember: It’s the love that echoes through these words that could potentially bridge the seemingly bottomless gaps and rekindle that precious parent-child bond. The art of reconnection, after all, begins with love.
Original:https://geediting.com/gbo-the-art-of-repair-8-phrases-that-reconnect-you-with-your-adult-children-after-they-have-pulled-away/?utm_source=push&utm_medium=n8n&utm_campaign=daily_updates
